Motherhood is a Fiction

2025 has been so kind to me, and I didn’t give them enough credit.

Even though it was not the perfect year, what should I expect? There is no such thing as absolute perfection. 

Life itself is already a blessing. Either we feel happy or sad. Excitement or boredom. High or low. Win or lose. Those are momentary and normal parts of life. Cycles of life. — Dandy Dzakyeza

It was my usual mid-day Instagram stories scrolling session. I’ve been making it a habit for a while to scroll Stories and find out what my friends are doing, and investing some energy to respond by liking or commenting to some of it. Sometimes I respond to appreciate, other times because I’m interested or intrigued. I try to be genuine most of the time. Which, in my Instagram behavior lingo, means I want to make real connection. I want to have friends and this is the least I can do to maintain it. On that day, I respond to one of my colleague’s stories where he mentioned he started a new blog. His name is Dandy, and I was pleasantly surprised with his blog. Absent of pictures, plain with black & white, the blog feels bare and truthful. The no-frill writings are seamed with positive and hopeful tone it provide delight. It’s hard not to compare it with my own writings, where the outset is often dark or bleak, and the concept is complex I struggle to maintain it. Overall, his writings leave a sweet tasting note. A taste that I wish to leave more in the future. I believe writings started with the mindset. Mine is dark and I think it can change.

I haven’t asked him whether he intended to write his blog that way, or just pouring whatever he has in mind, the writing also reminded me that often I’m doing too much just to do a thing. I overly fuss what to write, overly think how to write it, overly ponder what’s on my mind, when actually…I have everything I need to continue writing and make a good piece. Just like his.

I told him that I have a blog too. Two, in facts. He kindly read some of it and appreciate it back.

Right now, I only know him for a little through our limited interactions (though abundant interactions are a luxury to most these days). At first, he came across as a simple and practical guy, but he kept a lot of surprising activities which intrigues me from time to time. He is co-hosting English-speaking session for Japanese people, he reads fantasy fiction among other genres (for me, men who reads fantasy are rarities), he is a good videographer, and he is a designer that can work out Excel! And truthfully, I’m interested to know him better as a friend and I’m going to send this piece of writing to him.

Ps: Sorry I write about you!

Jakarta, December 2025

Friendship … is born at the moment when one man says to another “What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .

C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves